I heard this while in therapy (thanks David!) and it resonated. Maybe because it hit differently than the proverbial “sticks and stones” because no matter what they say, words do in fact hurt – like hell. Moreover, words sometimes dry the salivated cement coming out of our mouths, often setting in stone many aspects of our lives.

Words can and do stop you in your tracks because of their impact. The invocation of someone sincerely telling you they love you can take your breath away, especially if the feeling is mutual. In the same way, when someone says “F*ck you!”, it can influence you to go from zero to 60 instantly. My babies calling me mama for the first time brought tears to my eyes and elevated my already high level of affection for them. Conversely, when a former partner weaponized my mental health, it had me blind with rage. Fortunately, we have the power to accept, reject and/or deflect the utterances of others.

For instance, “Make America Great Again” is a hex (yes, hex) that I find curiously funny, particularly because I question if most under that spell truly had it all that “great” to begin with. Make America BETTER seems a more applicable charm, but we’ll see if that one makes it to the spell book (or a new, improved Constitution).

‘Success’ is another word worthy of a good counter spell. If there’s one thing about 2020 I’m appreciative of it is the ongoing and necessary reimagination of what is/is not ‘successful’. Success ≠ being rich. Success may = being financially comfortable, which is also subjective. Success ≠ a college degree, again subjective, but important, especially because school ain’t for everyone. The past sorcery of the (very) limited ideas of ‘success’ are slowly, but fortunately being laid to rest. Let them die and only to be referred to as lessons and accessible by the few ‘successful’ necromancers yearning for them.

Accepting a spell (or IMO giving up power) is most evident, when we say a person “makes” us feel something. “You made me feel __” is an incantation with the desired effect of someone else being responsible for our feelings. To be sure, folks can act in ways that certainly influence how we feel. Truth is though, unless we’re being forced to do something, we feel what we feel by our damn selves. For the most part, NO ONE can “make” you feel anything but you. I’ve learned the best way to hold on to my power is to deflect what I supposedly “made” somebody feel and counter that spell with using “I” statements instead. Works like a charm.

Ultimately, what causes us to be receptive or defensive to words is intent. Words are karmic. What – and – how we say things, can and does come back to us. That’s why it’s always important to be able to take what you dish, a skill many of us sorely lack. We can seemingly feel another’s love, anger (or both) which acts as a charm on our own emotionality. Mainly though, words are the preface to behavior, our actions. We’re going to walk-the-talk or not.

So, by all means, keep using words, preferably for the greater good and if you’re hoping to enchant, take the time to watch what you say.