Heads-up/Preface: The terms ‘God’ and ‘Universe’ are used interchangeably here. Read on if you’re good with that. If not, hope to see you again soon.

I’m a believer in nature, energy and sometimes beings. Monotheistic? Not really. Polytheistic? Perhaps. Religious? No. Spiritual? Definitely. What I do believe is that there’s more to humanity than meets the eye or that religion, science and technology will ever fully explain or attempt to attain. For most of us, behind those efforts of attainment, are inquiries of the most important kind such as ‘Who am I?’ and ‘How’d I get here?’

Many of us were taught to praise and raise our inherited deity(ies) but rarely (if ever) to question them. I came from a place of churchgoing, religious-driven, sometimes devout women, who I bet questioned and avoided God. Like them, I was good for asking: ‘Why me?’, ‘Why not me?’ and ‘How come?’ But then I’d obediently preface (or end) my self-righteous interrogation with ‘I’m not questioning you God!’ It wasn’t until I started to freely and unashamedly question God that I got answers. Really, the answers had been there. I was not ready to receive and listen to their truth. Truth was something to avoid.

For many years, I had major turbulence in my life that included burnout (career and marriage), single parenthood and parenting a parent to name a few. I had a huge to-do list and neurotically called for a major theologically divine life overhaul. But, while I repeatedly hit redial, I felt I kept getting the Universe’s busy tone. I questioned even cursed God. Even tried to banish God from my life – which didn’t work and did me absolutely no good. Plus, it was that type of angry avoidance that caused all the subsequent, often irrational inquiries in the first place.

Self-indignant, I paraded my demands as requests. My agitated existence finally hit rock bottom. Emotionally exhausted, vision and voice temporarily disabled, I was forced to listen. As a result, I got all manner of unwanted, but necessary responses:

Rejection –> Disguised as protection

Loss of negative relationships –> Gained freedom

Trusting too easily –> Better discernment

Honoring folks’ actions –> Honoring myself with self-awareness

The undesired answers to my line of vitriolic questioning was nothing but the Universe challenging me to do and be better. The more I asked and avoided or ignored the response, the Universe put more lessons in my path interrogating my improvement.

What I started to learn is that I didn’t have to like the answer, but I had to be receptive to it. That willingness to receive what I often willfully failed to acknowledge began to give me fuel to do something about it.

Today, in my oft siloed world of words, I now understand that the universe is full of answers, waiting for me to seek them. I inquire now with openness to receive and welcome truth, even if I know I’m not going to like it. At times, I also ask myself the same question(s) I was gearing up to put to God.

So go on and make your inquiries. Be open to the answer(s) however you receive them.